My Inner Thought Dialogue During a Morning Workout

5:55 AM: (Good Morning by Kanye West starts playing)

Me: Uhhhhhhhhhh where I am what day is it what’s happening? Oh yeah morning workout, okay can’t stay in bed, can’t be late…

(Stumbles to bathroom, switches on light)

Me: AHHHHH! Bright light! Pain! Eyes!

up

Urglhh… okay adjusting that’s better I- geez!
hermione shock

What happened to me last night I look terrible; what’s with my eyes? Hm maybe try rubbing them a bit, pushing them down… okay that’s not helping… Ohhhh well I guess this is what we have to work with this morning.
EW BUG ON COUNTER! Wow my reflexes were insane right then I reacted instantly. I’m getting quite adept at bug smashing, like a bug ninja assassin. No that’s not a thing…

6:23 am – Why do I keep waking up at 5:55? I’m here 7 minutes early. That’s seven minutes of sleep lost.
What are we doing today for the workout? Are my eyes still all puffed up? How long do puffed up eyes usually stay? I should look up what causes puffy eyes.
Oh looks likes everyone’s here, we’re going.
Should I start my watch? Everybody else is. Oh no we’re going and I haven’t started my watch! Aw what does it matter, we run the same exact loop each time, I don’t get why we start our watches anyway.

Crap! I feel terrible.
What did I do yesterday that would make my legs feel so heavy? I don’t remember anything in particular… great. I just have crappy feeling legs for no reason. This workout’s probably gonna suck.
ron terror
Noooo. Oh please don’t let it suck. Hm here comes the boys team doing the backwards loop, we’re about to pass each other. Should I wave? Do I ignore them? It’s definitely too early to think of something witty. Ah they’re already passing us!ron wave
Wow that was an awkward wave. Why did I feel it was so necessary to wave? I shouldn’t have waved.
Okay done warm up, what do I usually do after? Oh yeah those skippy things. Go do some skippy things. I like these they’re so nice and easy.
Alright that feels like enough drills. Let’s do those kicky things and then change shoes.
Aw my flats are so pretty, so nice and new looking. Okay we’re official now.
Better go to the bathroom one more time to be safe…
Ew strides. I never feel good on these. Let’s test it out hm
no bones
Ohhh no. That does not feel good. Am I running differently? Have my legs changed while I slept? This doesn’t feel right.
7: 00 am – Great we’re all lining up. I possibly have spontaneously malformed legs and we’re lining up for a workout… It’ll be fine I’m sure once I start. So what’s today’s plan?
the look
That is nothing like what I thought we were doing. Oh well, it’s not horrible I guess. Annd we’re going! Okay this is okay. I can handle this. Except. Wait.
ginny2
Not good. Tired. All over.
How many are we finished? 8 left?? Are you kidding me… Just focus on the next one, the next one, the next one.
Am I breathing annoyingly? Why am I so aware of everyone’s breathing? Gosh dang it now I can’t stop thinking about breathing…
How did If I Were A Boy get stuck in my head? I haven’t listened to Beyonce for weeks. I should pick a new song to have in my head this is too slow. Walkin on Sunshine? Too peppy for a morning workout. Miss Saigon songs? I must be the only one who likes to think of Broadway musical numbers while working out.
I wonder if my stride looks cool or stupid. Try to make it look cool. What does a cool stride look like? Bounce my hands, relaxed arms, rhythm and stuff.
Oh the sun’s finally emerging more! Mornings are gorgeous.
Wow look at the boys. They make it look so ridiculously easy.
walkin on air
They’re so fast. I wonder if we look fast at all. It feels quick.
Hm this feels a little faster than before, are we speeding up? Yep, we’re speeding up. I knew it would happen I just didn’t know it would happen so soon. I’m feeling better though. I got this. Only 2 more now? Yes!

Actually feeling good! Man, we’re speeding up a lot now. Geez. Last rep, ahh fast!
harry epic
(incoherent mental jumbling as close to full effort is given)

yes. Done. That was good, definitely tough at the end though… oh stupid cool down. I want breakfast now. I really want breakfast now. Let’s get this over with quickly.
Ahhh yes!!! I am free-eee.

harry freedom

Done with the workout, the rest of the day is nothing!

8:13 am – mmmm. breakfast.

hungry ron

Finally.

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